2017 Holiday Gift Guide part I. What to get your ex.

8:00:00 AM

Well hello there my darlings!

‘Tis the season again and Akamatra’s gift guide is here! As promised, this isn’t your regular gift guide. It’s one with a twist. Or should I say several twists?


This post contains affiliate links which means that if you click through and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you, I’ll get pocket money to go yarn shopping. So you are feeding my yarn addiction. I knew you’d be a bad influence!

Stay with me here for a minute will you? Every year there are hundreds of gift guides out there filled with gifts for her, for him, for the kids and for your mom. You might even find gift guides for geeks, for gardeners and for vegans. If you search hard enough you’ll find some guides for retro lovers, rockers and even those into puzzles.

But what about a gift guide for your ex? 

What did you say? There is no need to buy your ex a gift? Well, think again!

The way I see it there are two kinds of exes out there. The ones we love and the ones we love to hate. Am I right? Here’s what you should buy in each case!


DO WE LOVE HIM?

Girl, let’s be honest. There’s always an ex out there who we didn’t treat right. He was sweet and caring but the chemistry was lacking. Or he did everything right but we couldn’t stand his mom (ring any bells?). Or we suffered a case of: “We drifted into the friend zone”.


Still you haven’t forgotten him have you? He deserves a gift, right?


I bet you still remember how much he liked to read late at night with the light on, not letting you sleep…


A book is always a nice gift!

And how could you forget how good he was with his hands!!!


So get the man a power tool! Or a cool paint sprayer! Who knows maybe NOW he will paint that room you wanted done!


Remember the time he spent caring for his car? How he talked about it like it was a person and how he seemed to be in love with it? Or how much time he spent cleaning it while making a mess of the garage and leaving it for you to clean afterwards?


Give him a hand will you?



And how about all these dinners he cooked for you only because he wanted to get some?


Wouldn’t it be nice to make him dinner in return? He did like his steak right? So go on buy him a grill and then ask to use it to make him dinner. I bet he will never let you touch the thing and you’ll get another nice dinner without even having to shave your legs.


DO WE HATE HIM?


We do! We hate him, we hate him, we hate him! We hate him so much that these should definitely be on our gift list!


A t-shirt (for us) as a reminder. Don’t do it girl!!!



Did he make fun of you when you bought that sparkling nail polish? Time to get back at him! Sent him a glitter bomb!



Did he make you go to the shop all the time to get him his favorite brand of coffee? Raise your mug and salute him!




And remember if the jury’s still out you can always get some help reaching a decision…Just saying...


What are getting your ex this holiday season? Have you ever given something to an ex? I mean other than a bloody nose but I’d love to hear about that too!



Lots of love









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50 comments

  1. Lol, I have an ex in each category. I am going with the glitter for the one I hate, that's brilliant. Thanks for a very well thought gift suggestion:)
    Tabitha

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  2. A gift guide for you ex? How interesting. I've never thought of buying a present for any of my exes before - other than a flaming bag of dog poop, maybe haha. Some of these gifts are down right funny, maybe I'll buy something for my ex this year hehe.

    Christie's Take on Life. xx

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  3. Well, I wouldn’t give a gift to my ex. Well maybe a book is nice but it depends actually. If we are really close, why not?

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  4. This is a really fun and unexpected post. I would never give a gift to my ex to be honest ahah

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  5. I'm amused by these choices. I'm not sure if I'd give a gift to my ex, but I can see my daughter doing it in a few years.

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  6. hahaha ok, I have to say, I really enjoyed your post!!! Bite me for me please!!!

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  7. This post was very different, but awesome! I probably wouldn't buy a gift for an ex that I hate, but there's some great ideas here for the ones I don't hate!

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  8. OMG, this is so funny. YOu were right on there with the twist. I especially like the options dependent on how one feels about their ex.

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  9. Um, I'm going to have to say no there will be no gifts distributed to my ex. They are an ex for a reason and in my case I don't need to open those doors again.

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  10. HILARIOUS! I love it. I am thinking that the paint sprayer is a good gift but also with a great message and the "bite me" cozie is a good one too.

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  11. Hands up I would never get my ex a gift - but these are awesome ideas for people who perhaps would no matter if it is in good favour or not.

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  12. This is actually quite creative and very clever! I’m not friends with any of my exes nor do I hate them but I bought the list was really well thought it!

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  13. This is a great gift guide for your Ex. If you get along then why not buy them a gift.

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  14. Oh my, I don't think I've ever given any thing to an ex. Although, when I do give gifts, they are typically books. Hummm .. that one I'd have to think about. ps: Cute post by the way! Made me smile .. x

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  15. great, but I would not like to give anything to my ex, not even a grill since he loved my steak;). But, These gifts are cool for sure and many can have the options!

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  16. My exes are a mixed bag- some are good and people I still keep in touch with and others I'm glad don't know what state I live in now. Even with the good, I'm not sure that I'd be into buying them a gift.

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  17. So many wonderful items listed. I would love to get the Mister a grill for Christmas. I'm sure he would love it.

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  18. hahaha. Love your perspective and the backhand jibes. Love the T shirt the most!

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  19. I don't have an ex's, but I don't think I'd get either one anything! Those are some funny ideas, though.

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  20. If you get him a grill, then he can always grill food for you lol. If you get him tools then he can fix your items or house up lol. Hopefully he knows how to use them.

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  21. That t-shirt is so freakin epic!! I have to admit, I've never bought an ex a gift but this is fun inspo!

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  22. Hahaha that tshirt is beyond awesome! Love the grill idea too. But luckily, I really don't have to get my ex anything anymore...it's been forever!

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  23. Well gifting to an ex would be a great idea but would they accept it and that would be possible only if things are going great between each other 😊

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  24. Omg these are perfect! Really love the "Don't Text Him" Tshirt haha!

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  25. The "Don't text your ex" t-shirt is not only hilarious, but it's sound advice. That should be a year-round gift.

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  26. Haha! Love the idea of the glitter bomb, never would have thought of sending a gift to an ex though, that's very novel

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  27. Haha yeah I ain't gettin my ex anything. This is was funny to read though! Fortunately I am on to the next one and he will be getting a present instead.... and I am treating myself to a trip over the holidays!

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  28. I totally get this is fun and a lot of people would send a gift to their ex. I would not even spend the money on him.

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  29. hahaha I doubt I would ever spend the time or money on my ex, but if I were to I would definitely give him the bite me cup ;)

    Sondra xx
    prettyfitfoodie.com

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  30. This post had me chuckling. If you are on good terms of course they could get some sort of gift. These are great options.

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  31. Lol... hmmmm... I am all for getting something for the ones who have become friends because we drifted into that zone or because it didn't work out. For the other ones, I would say forgetting is the best gift, for yourself. It's always better.

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  32. I already gave them a gift... ME!. If they didn't appreciate me when they had me why gift them something now?!. They are ex for a reason.

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  33. This is genius! At first, I figured you were going to say something like "Well, he's my kids' dad so I should get him something." I love that there's a dig for each gift. I hope people take your advice and send all of these.

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  34. I mean that shirt is a pretty perfect gift if you ask me. That and the coffee mug warmer are clear winners.

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  35. Hahaha this is hilarious! I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on the post. I'm glad I did lol

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  36. Definitely a no with getting the ex a gift. But this was an amusing post :)!

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  37. haha i loved the humor in this guide. Id frankly never even consider giving an ex anything but a big GOODbye, see ya never.

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  38. Lolll hahah you are hilarious! I love that book suggestion, the title says it all.

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  39. Super post. samo tako nastavi ;)

    https://kraljicadrameblog.wordpress.com/2017/11/04/muke-zvane-studentski-dom/

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  40. That was a great list!! Hilarious!! Would surely keep this noted. hahahah

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  41. Gifting something to ex sounds unusual to me. But everything has persective and you have poured your feelings with great gifting option.

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  42. Haha i find this post funny! Its a thoughtful gesture, but in real life sending a give to an ex which if not your friend is a no. Trouble will born.

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  43. This is freaking HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! Especially the GLITTER BOMB! Soooo funny! What a creative idea and thanks for the giggle.

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  44. I've never come across gift ideas for Ex! This is something new to me but I really liked these cute gift ideas especialy glitter bomb!

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  45. This is fun! I don't have an ex but I can imagine and sympathize.

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  46. I don't think I'd ever get any of my exes a gift, they're all a bunch of prats... That being said I can think of a number of people who would appreciate some of the gifts on this list!

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  47. This is such a fun list!! Although i havent given my ex any gift 😂

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  48. Lol! This post made me chuckle throughout. Very relatable!

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  49. Wow, these ideas are amazing..though I hate my ex so would not love to gift him anything but that taort one still would be great

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  50. Akamatra, these gift ideas are funny. You have a great sense of humor. The glitter bomb is my favorite.

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